I think a lot about how to be
happier and live a better life. I have struggled alot with body
confidence and only in the past few years have I really started to love
myself and who I have become. I thought that I would write a list of all
the things that I think are
stepping stones to loving yourself. I am not here to preach or to tell
you what to do. I just want to help others find happiness in their lives
and become comfortable in their skin.
Start thinking about yourself
in a positive light. First step to accepting yourself is to stop focusing on
your flaws and the things you do not like, and start celebrating all the things
you do like. It is not a crime to love who you are and how you look. And you do
not need to look like a Victoria’s Secret model and have a PhD to love yourself
inside and out.
Surround yourself with people
who love and support you. Get rid of the people who make you feel like crap and
find a good group of true friends who make you feel powerful and attractive. A
person is not a friend if they make you feel ugly or worthless. It is a tough
step, getting rid of the cancerous people in your life (and this includes
family), but I assure you, it is the best thing you will ever do for yourself.
I made this decision a few years ago and I have never been happier. Whoever you
decide to surround yourself with, make your decision and sick to your guns. Do
not be guilted into letting poisonous people back in to your life.
Don’t rely on compliments and
comments from others to measure your self worth. Although it is important to
share your life with people who treat you well and make you feel good about
yourself, do not place you entire self worth on compliments from them or anyone
else. It doesn’t matter how many likes your selfie or OOTD got on Instagram and
Facebook, its what you think of yourself that truly matters. Do you like how
you look? Do you feel beautiful/ handsome? That is all that matters!
Develop confidence in
yourself. I know this is a hard step and is a lot easier said than done. The
more you focus on what makes you feel good and happy, the easier it will be.
One of the most important aspects of confidence is learning who you are and
then being proud of it. Confidence comes with practice and reassuring yourself
that you are enough. Ignore those who make you feel like crap and try to beak
you down.
Be happy alone. Take yourself
out to dinner or a movie! It isn’t sad or depressing to do something by
yourself. If you constantly rely on others to always be with you and make you
happy, then you will never know yourself and be completely comfortable in your
own skin. This is something that I wasn’t sure about, until I did it. I took
myself to the Sex and the City movie and out to lunch with a good book and it
was such a lovely afternoon! It feels a little weird the first time, but no I
look forward for my lunches for one.
Focus on your strengths. We
tend to only think about the things that we dislike about ourselves. I hate my
arms, my skin, my hair, my job, my teeth… you get the idea Why not take that
energy and think about what you like about yourlife, body and personality? I
love my eyes and my sense of humor. I like that my laugh makes others laugh. I
know as much as humanly possible about Harry Potter (No joke. Bring it on
muggle) and an obsessed with true crime. I like these things about me. It is so easy to stop using all that time and
energy tearing ourselves apart and start to build ourselves up instead.
Be proud of your quirks and
what makes you different. If we were all the same, the world would be a very
boring place. The beauty of the internet and social media is that you can find
people who share your quirks and interests so easily. There is no need to be
ashamed of the things that you are passionate about! Embrace the things that
make you YOU and enjoy yourself!
Stop making excuses and start
taking control of your life. This is a tough pill to swallow. It is so easy to
make excuses about why you are not doing something. Take control and make the
jump. Don’t like your job? Apply to something you love or take the courses that
will make you eligible to do so. Not happy in your relationship? GET OUT. There
is no need to stay with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. Take the
steering wheel and start on the journey that you want.
Find something that inspires
you. Have you always wanted to paint? Learn belly dancing? Take a writing
class? DO IT! If you already have something you are passionate about, embrace
it and make it a part of your life! Make time to read or sketch. Whatever it
is, make time to enjoy your passion.
Wear what you feel good in.
The whole “I am a pear shape and can NEVER wear a peplum top” and “I have a
winter complexion so only cool colours look good on me” is so 2005. Do you like
it? Do you feel good wearing it? Are you comfortable? WEAR IT! Rock that crop
top or black lipstick! It is your body and you should wear whatever you like!
The best thing I have ever read is “Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on it!”.
Trust your gut. You are the
best judge of yourself. If you feel like it is a good choice, do it! As long as
you are not hurting anyone, you should do what you want. It is your life and
you only have one shot at it.
Know that you are your most
harsh critic. We are the ones who spend the most time with ourselves and we
tend to fixate on what we do not like about how we look. Most of the time, no
one notices the things we think are blatantly obvious. Don’t be so hard on
yourself. Give yourself a break and be kind to yourself. No one is perfect.
Learn about how the media
works. Be aware that everything from magazines to commercials to billboards are
designed to make you think that there is something wrong with you and they are
there to fix it. Through pretty pictures, enticing slogans and “proven “miracle
workers, these products will fix you and you will look like that celebrity in
the advertisement. I am not saying don’t do those Cosmo quizzes or not to buy
that super popular makeup product, just be aware of what you see and how it
effects you. Educating yourself makes you a smarter consumer and less likely to
be sucked into that web.
Post positive messages to
yourself. If you feel like you need little reminders to help you stay positive
and happy through your day, do it! Put up post-its or pictures in your office, bedroom,
in your car, on your phone or in your wallet. Find quotes or pictures that
inspire you and make you feel happy. I personally
keep a series of pictures of an otter eating a watermelon on my phone. I know
that sounds bizarre, but it makes me laugh every single time I look at it. Seriously. Google it.
Create a happy place. Get
yourself a woman or man cave and decorate it how you like. Surround yourself
with things that reflect your unique personality and taste. My happy place is
my bedroom. It is where I go after a long day or when I need some quiet time.
Everything about screams me. I feel so at easy in my cave. Everyone should have
that place they can go and feel 110% comfortable.
Exercise. This is one of
those things that a lot of us do not like to hear, but it is important to take
care of yourself. I will be the first to admit that I would rather carve my
eyeballs out with a spoon then work out. I find it incredibly boring and
tedious. I am not saying work out at the gym for 2 hours a day everyday and
only eat lettuce. Try to find something fun that gets your heart rate up and
makes you feel good. Even just putting on some upbeat music and dancing around
or going for a walk is a step in the right direction.
Treat yourself. Get a massage
or buy those shoes you have been drooling over for ages. You work hard and
deserve to reward yourself for it. I am not saying go out and rack up some crippling
dept in one major shopping spree, but treat yourself once and a while. We work
hard. We deserve nice things.
Figure out what you want out of
life. There is no pressure to make a detailed list of exactly where you want to
be in 5 years time, but put some thought into what kind of life you want to
live and start to make baby steps in that direction. This doesn’t just mean
know what you want in terms of a career. Think about how you want to be treated
and what kind of people you want in your life. That is just as important as how
much money you want to earn. Your personal happiness and goals are just as
important as your career aspirations.
